Reflections from the Lives of Umm Musa and Hajar (peace be upon them) as Mothers

Mom Guilt.

What does that mean to you?

Does it mean feeling guilty when you are not there for them?
Does it mean feeling guilty when you think you could be a better mother?
Does it mean feeling guilty when your house is a mess, and your mental state is not at best?
Does it mean feeling guilty when you sneak into your room for some mental peace, or to enjoy a chocolate or two, away from the turmoil of stress?
Does it mean feeling when you acknowledge YOU need time-off from the chaos in your life?
Does it mean feeling guilty that you are doing everything you can, yet there is no peace?

Motherhood – a part of life that may seem to take away a part of you.
And with most mothers, they lose their identity as themselves as they take on the identity of a mother.

Looking at the lives of Umm Musa and Hajar (peace be upon them) as mothers, a major lesson I learnt from them was that they were brave mothers who took efforts and did their part by trusting their gut instincts from Allah, whilst having firm reliance on Him. 

Umm Musa (peace be upon her) lived at the time in Egypt when Fir’awn let the daughters live and murdered the sons. Having birthed baby Musa (peace be upon him), she knew Fir’awn’s men were around the corner looking to take the lives of boys. She had to protect her son from the clutches of Fir’awn. 

What would she have gone through in those moments? As a mother, I would have felt stuck. I would have felt cornered, not knowing what to do, maybe even going insane with worry, anxiety, and grief for what was about to come.

How did the mother of Musa (peace be upon her) come out of the turmoil she would have been through?

We inspired the mother of Moses: “Nurse him, but when you fear for him, put him then into the river, and do not fear or grieve. We will certainly return him to you, and make him one of the messengers.”
Qur’an, 28:7

Allah inspired Umm Musa (peace be upon her) to take action – an action that may appear to be harmful for her son and herself, but with tawakkul on Allah, she set forth with her instinct to protect her son.

When Hajar (peace be upon her) entered Makkah  with her baby, Ismail (peace be upon him), she had enough water to sustain herself and her son for a while. But as time passed, she started to get thirsty and so did her breastfed son. Being in a situation where a mother has no control, and with a baby crying out of thirst, a mother would naturally put her motherly instinct at best and take efforts to satisfy her child’s needs.

What did Hajar (peace be upon her) do in such a situation?

Narrated Ibn `Abbas: “…She started looking at him (i.e. Ishmael) tossing in agony; She left him, for she could not endure looking at him, and found that the mountain of Safa was the nearest mountain to her on that land. She stood on it and started looking at the valley keenly so that she might see somebody, but she could not see anybody. Then she descended from Safa and when she reached the valley, she tucked up her robe and ran in the valley like a person in distress and trouble, till she crossed the valley and reached the Marwa mountain where she stood and started looking, expecting to see somebody, but she could not see anybody. She repeated that (running between Safa and Marwa) seven times.” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “This is the source of the tradition of the walking of people between them (i.e. Safa and Marwa). When she reached the Marwa (for the last time) she heard a voice and she asked herself to be quiet and listened attentively. She heard the voice again and said, ‘O, (whoever you may be)! You have made me hear your voice; have you got something to help me?” And behold! She saw an angel at the place of Zamzam, digging the earth with his heel (or his wing), till water flowed from that place. She started to make something like a basin around it, using her hand in this way, and started filling her water-skin with water with her hands, and the water was flowing out after she had scooped some of it.” The Prophet (ﷺ) added, “May Allah bestow Mercy on Ishmael’s mother! Had she let the Zamzam (flow without trying to control it) (or had she not scooped from that water) (to fill her water-skin), Zamzam would have been a stream flowing on the surface of the earth.” The Prophet (ﷺ) further added, “Then she drank (water) and suckled her child. The angel said to her, ‘Don’t be afraid of being neglected, for this is the House of Allah which will be built by this boy and his father, and Allah never neglects His people.’…”
(Sahih Al-Bukhari, Book 60, Hadith 38)

Seeing her son in distress, Hajar (peace be upon her) ran from Mount Safa to Mount Marwa and kept running until she heard a voice in a place where there was no living soul. She asked herself to be quiet. How many of us talk to ourselves when in distress? How many of us have the inner voice reminding us what to do next? And then she listened attentively.

And the best part? Through both the stories, Allah gives hope to the mothers by conveying the message that tawakkul on Allah with intuitive efforts on our parts will bring about goodness to the children in this world and in the aakhirah.

These miracles that happened to our pious predecessors do not stop with them.
Once we listen to our instincts, take efforts, and rely completely on Allah’s Qadr, then it will all fall in place.
It may take time for us to see the results, but the results will come to fruition.

May Allah Al-Jabbar (The Compeller) make us excellent mothers for our children, and may He protect us, our children, and our families from the fitnah of this world and the next. Aameen.

What are some of your thoughts on this?

This post is in collaboration with 3 other Muslim Mother Bloggers on the topic of Mom Guilt. Stay tuned as the posts roll out one by one this week:

1. Umm Ruqaiya – Guilt Free Mama – Filling My Own Glass First
2. Sakina’s Expressions – Stop Comparing Your child to Mine: Talking About Academic Struggles
3. Nourishing Our Home – 7 Actionable Tips to Help You Stop Yelling at Your Toddler